My people

 You know one of the biggest bittersweet aspects to this journey? Seeing my people (my family: blood or otherwise) shift. 

 

Some have so fully, selflessly, and amazingly stepped right up to the challenging time. While some completely made their true selves known and have since exited the building. And others, I see struggling to find their place. Whether that place is in my life or not. I see them growing, changing, but in a different direction than my own.

 

I’m so loving observing it all. It’s amazing to take a step back and see exactly what the universe wanted for my life (as far as relationships with others go) and for it to unfold. Whether or not I liked it, the universe is placing the VIPs front and center, the users/abusers ushered right the fuck out, and the others being guided down their own path though I’m not sure they’re even aware of it yet. 

 

My mom and husband have been my biggest supporters and help. It really just warms my soul to see them act so selflessly and lovingly. 

 

If there’s one big thing to be seen from this experience, it’s seeing how deeply loved I am but those around me. Sometimes I just pause and watch them do tedious life stuff and think, “wow, I also lucky to have them in my life. I love them so much.”

 

I didn’t realize the dynamics of my friendships would ever change but it did, a lot. All for the better. The ones I truly needed are here, the ones that weren’t meant to stay are gone. There were things I didn’t see or at least overlooked because I suppose I was in denial. 

 

Some of it hurt, some of it made sense. But overall, it’s exactly what needed to happen and so, it did. I’m just so full of love and appreciation for the people I’m close to now. 

 

My heart is so full of gratitude for so many people in my life. My heart is full of gratitude for God and the universe for showing everyone’s true colors to me and leading me to the people and the path that were meant for me. 

 

I can honestly say if this journey hadn’t started for me, I’d be stuck in the same old loop I was always in. Stressed, tired, catering to people who didn’t deserve my time, go to work/school, come home, make dinner, eat, sleep, repeat. 

 

Now, I see so much. I observe more, appreciate more, and take in the fact that others exist with their own needs/wants/feelings that are completely separate from my own and me in general. I thoroughly enjoy my time with everyone, and experiences I have. I’m more vocal about my boundaries and needs. I’ve (mostly) stopped “people pleasing” at the expense of myself. I’m enjoying life. Eating right, exercising, playing games, getting back to the basics. The things that actually matter. It’s kind of like re-learning life and how to respond to it. If that makes any sense. 

 

To all the people IN my life, know I see you, really see you. Know I appreciate you. Know I love you so much. As crazy as this ride has been, I wouldn’t change the road to right now, it’s brought us many good things. Mainly, us being closer, and that gift is priceless to me.