Cancer Rant

 I’m part of a lot of cancer groups and I see a LOT of the same posts… I don’t want to do chemo or radiation but I feel like my doctors are pushing/pressuring me into it.

 

They are. It makes money. LOTS of money. What they don’t tell you (at least they didn’t with me and a bunch of others I know) is that chemo literally causes other cancers and is derived from mustard gas! It’s fucking POISON!

 

Had I known that in advance, had time to process, ask the RIGHT questions, I don’t know that I would have chosen to do chemotherapy. Radiation, with my specific cancer, can lead to more advanced stages of my cancer… I was already at a stage 3 so why the fuck would they do radiation?

 

The deeper I dive into cancer with western medicine the more I firmly believe it’s a scam. They don’t give a fuck if I live or die, they don’t know me, they care about money.

 

I was in one of my cancer support pages tonight reading lists from (unfortunately) newly diagnosed people talking about how terrified they were and how their doctors told them their “options” and one in particular said their doctor told them if they didn’t do chemo that they would do IVF for them. I don’t know all the other context to their appointment but I look back on my own experience and how awful it was. Appointment after appointment. Every day I had appointments lasting all day at “big Mayo” in Rochester and meeting each doctor and then telling me (not asking) my options.

 

It was so scary and traumatizing I couldn’t even go into room 328. They scheduled me once in that room after my first initial appointments and I physically shook, my whole body, because I was reliving that day. The gal that escorted us back took notice. I told her why I was panicking and she immediately moved me to a new room. Can you imagine not being able to enter a room because it was where you given bad news. Until that day, I couldn’t understand it.

 

Mainstream hospitals don’t give you all your options. They should be telling you about holistic options. They should be telling you to help yourself along side their options, to eat right, exercise, go outside, take supplements (etc). But they don’t. In fact, big Mayo told me NOT to supplement. Which (because I’ve been a medical professional my entire adult career) I promptly ignored because I knew chemo would knock down all my blood levels.  I took at the minimum the basic things I knew I’d be without.

 

As far as sarcoma goes, at big Mayo I have been the FIRST and ONLY person this chemo has worked for. Why? Is it because I supplemented? Is it because I worked on my emotional (past) trauma? Is it because I raided my house and got rid of laundry soap, non organic dish soap, quit smoking, stopped drinking pop, got glass Tupperware? Who knows. But, I’m doing all I can. I want yo live. I want to be here as long as possible. I know I have a lot to offer the world and I’m just not ready to be without my kids.

 

I HATE cancer but do you know what I hate more? Liars. I hate liars more than anything. Especially liars that say that money is more important than life. Fuck you. Tell that to my children, to my mother, to my husband. Say that to their faces as you’re injecting poison into me knowing full well that will likely give me a secondary cancer and knowing you didn’t tell me that upfront, playing on my ignorance and fear. Fuck. You.

 

The best decision I’ve ever made is following my own instincts and hiring my holistic doctor, Megan. I’ve definitely learned that the United States only cares about money. Most other countries don’t send cancer patients to the hospital. They go to holistic doctors. Not us. We spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on treatments that can kill us or give us secondary diseases, then destroy our lives financially. Example, I was given roughly $13,000 between my benefit and Gofundme, that literally paid for my STAY IN L.A (I refused to use that donated money for anything else). and a couple bills. I still owe almost $70,000 in just LA surgery fees. That’s not including my first botched surgery, nor ANY of my treatments.

 

On top of trying to figure out how I can I work and make a living for myself, I have the stress and guilt of  doing the things I NEEDED to just be alive! It literally blows my mind. You get cancer, can’t work, you owe a SHIT TON of money, then destroy your credit, etc. What a monopoly they have on us. They don’t care about us. Cancer is their dream come true. It’s just dollar signs to them. It’s so frustrating.

 

Anyway, I’m done ranting. I wish I knew then what I know now. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for where I’m at today, however, I think I could have gotten here by other means had I known what I do now.