Attachments
The meeting started off with some stories and life lessons sarcoma patients have learned on their journeys. Then a few breathing and visual techniques that helped relax and de-stress.
Michelle, a volunteer who helped lead the discussion as a spouse to someone lost to sarcoma, brought up a really wonderful "food for thought." This was the biggest thing I took away from the meeting and it really resonated with me. She brought up "attachment" and what it means to everyone. Whether it be a person or an object and how it affects our lives. It can usually hinder oneself, attachment. She suggested to instead call any attachment a variation of "cling" such as you're "clinging" to that person or object to see it for what it really is and if it is a good or bad attachment.
Her example was one that everyone can relate to. Your cell phone. Have you ever lost it? Of course, you have. That worry and anxiety that tags along to the loss of your phone, that's where you recognize your attachment to it. Relying so much on an object, such as a cell phone, takes away from something bigger, more important, and more REAL in your life. Any attachment we form with tangible objects is another way we are tied down and not relying on ourselves to be expressive, be open with others, be vulnerable, and holds us back from real life.
That got me thinking about something that has been bothering me lately. I just spoke yesterday with my best friend about this. I'm growing a lot from my journey, changing each and every day. I'm so happy and grateful for the lessons I'm learning and the person I'm becoming, but those around me that I love so very much, are not growing and changing with me. I'm attached to what I had, that connection with certain people in my life that I don't want to let go of. That thought, that fear, is holding me back from fully being the me that I'm transitioning into.
It's like a butterfly. It starts out as a cute little caterpillar, enjoying its life as one thing. Then, at some point, it knows this transformation is coming and prepares itself, goes into a cocoon, and emerges something else. Something bigger and better than it once was. Now, it's not the caterpillar's fault it evolved and changed just like it's not an ant's fault that it didn't change. There is no fault by anyone involved, but it happened regardless. I have to realize that certain people in my life are not changing and though I am doesn't mean I love them any less, or them me, but on the other side of the transformation might not be the same people or same relationships that once were.
I have to let go of the attachment I have to that idea that everything will once again be the same. Because they won't be. It's a fear of losing something comforting. Fear and attachment really go hand in hand. I feel that that is the reason so many people won't change. Fear of the unknown. But as another best friend told me, with great risk could come great reward.
If you're scared or unwilling to change, to grow, and be better than you once were then how are you really living? The point in life is to grow and better the person you were yesterday. If you're not putting effort into yourself and those around you then you're really missing out on such a wonderful aspect of life and a wonderful aspect of yourself and who you COULD be.
It's not easy to address your own faults, fears, attachments, but it's necessary in order to blossom. It's asking yourself a lot of hard deep questions and letting your ego down long enough to recognize your faults. That in itself is the biggest and possibly hardest step. I
hope I can keep taking one small step each day in the direction of the person I want to be. I truly hope you all will join me.
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